Friend, there is only one Gospel. All of the groupings you just mentioned are in agreement on this Gospel, which can be boiled down to this: All humans sin and fall short of God's glory The wages of sin is death (after physical death, eternal separation from God) The gift of God's undeserved, unearnable grace is offered to all who accept it by faith in Jesus Christ the Redeemer It is the easiest thing to do, and yet it is the hardest thing to do.
There certainly are several unique people on this forum, but I never expected to encounter a self-described agnostic "trickster" who derives pleasure from "stirring the pot" at his local CoE parish. At least he is transparent with his intentions.
I'm new here and I'm really enjoying your comments. I used to say that if I didn't believe in God I would probably go to Church anyway as I just enjoy it. Nevertheless, even if you have now thrown in the towel you were obviously a seeker in the past. The thing is, it's all about you and God. Have you never felt God's presence? All the other crap is ultimately unimportant. Who cares about the Church fathers, or Constantine, or denominations, etc. I truly believe if you quietly look for God in your heart God will find you. You would be fun to get drunk with.