So this is the deal. I found a church I thought I loved, but it has turned out that due to personality conflicts it has become an uncomfortable place for me. I’m not going to bash anyone, I’m willing to believe I’m just difficult, the whole problem is me! So, I don’t want to go church shopping again, I simply don’t have the energy anymore to deal with politics and cliques. I have firmly decided to get up on Sunday morning, make tea, and watch/listen to Mass online. Period. I’m done. Online Mass it is. What do you think?
I understand the desire not to go Church shopping. I had a go at it a while back, and ended up staying put, sometimes perhaps just. We don't go the church for the priest, and we don't go to church because everyone is lovely. The challenge is when everyone is not lovely, and when the conduct of liturgical worship is (struggling for a word) and we still go. I can see the attractiveness of the idea, but I also struggle with it as we are a faith built on the incarnation. Allow me to share a ditty from Sydney Carter, that may at least cause you to smile, as it does me often. Robinson Crusoe Sydney Carter Robinson Crusoe had no bottom he could kick, when he felt like it, except his own. Hell may be other people: that is what Robinson needed and, at last, he got.
I can understand your feeling, having atteneded a congregation that went though some rough times due to personalities before principle, and chewed up a few clergy prior to their departure. The Church is a perfect place, filled with imperfect people, and frankly stuff happens when you bring people into it. That does not defer from the Church itself. However, I am a firm believer in being an active participant in the Church, and had to search for a new congregation myself. I'd recommend reading "Life Together" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer on the hows/whys of the importance of being active in a Church
I have been through church conflicts too, enough to make me sometimes ponder whether to keep trying. But as Jeffg noted, the church is made up of imperfect people - and I am certainly one of those. For myself, years ago I decided that Hebrews 10:25 ("Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.") means that we should indeed keep trying and striving to be part of a local church. I second the recommendation of "Life Together".
That is a beautiful verse, Will. If the day ever comes when all Christians stay at home and worship on the net, that will be a very sad day. But it won't, so I won't worry about it.
Indeed. I could never stay home and just watch. I'd be missing out on so much. Most importantly Holy Communion, active participation/interaction and fellowship of which I'd not be able to do just watching it. However, I can only speak for myself.
Exactly. I can hear all the sermons or homilies I want online, as well as hymns and even the liturgy. What I can't do is take Holy Communion online; it is the main reason I attend services.
The sacrament, yes, but also the communal worship, are some of the spiritual prizes of personal attendance Not to mention the spiritual formation of one and one's family among the body of the faithful
Personality conflicts? With whom? Do you refer to other parishioners or to the pastor? I can picture in my mind a good many churches in which it would be easy to avoid personality conflicts, merely be staying aloof and not getting to know anyone or letting them know you. Anonymously one enters, attends, receives, and leaves. It's not ideal, but a great many people seem to do just that! Roman churches were always especially easy to be anonymous in, in my younger days (maybe they've changed though); but I've experienced it in many other churches also. (I don't need or want to be anonymous in my present church, thankfully.) If there's someone in the congregation you don't like, you should be able to avoid the person. If you can't stand the pastor... well, that's more difficult to overlook, since it's hard for a sheep to follow a shepherd he finds stinky. The best thing you can do right now is, ask the Holy Spirit to show you what to do and where to go. He will lead you in peace to the right pasture where He wants you to graze. Try not to be self-willed and self-determinative about it, but yield yourself to the Lord and trust Him, because He knows what is best for you. Col 3:12 Put on, therefore, as choice ones of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humble-mindedness, meekness, long-suffering, Col 3:13 forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any one with any one may have a quarrel, as also the Christ did forgive you--so also ye; Col 3:14 and above all these things, have love, which is a bond of the perfection, Col 3:15 and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also ye were called in one body, and become thankful. Eph 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Eph 3:21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Martin Luther said something along the lines of marriage being a character builder, sanctifying. He was right, and this principle can be extended to all of our familial relationships. Close relationships expose sins that we would not otherwise be aware of. You are right to assume that it is just you because you would at least be half right. In this, there is a lot of room for growth, but this will require repentance, and a change of heart. Our Lord's example was to be concerned for his killers. But I say all of this being able to relate on some level at least. I have something similar weighing on my conscience now. I am not above this. For reasons that I cannot say publicly, I have stepped out of my comfort zone. I am considering attaching myself to a congregation that is a different tradition/system. Could it be a providence? I want to want to be where He would have me serve. So I hope so. I have never found any peace wrestling against providence. We do not pick and choose who we are to serve. We desire to be obedient. We do not pick our parents, or even our children. Whatever you might think of Mother Teresa, she was right to say that we are to serve whoever He puts in our path. Some are not especially likable. I have to admit that I will be more cautious moving forward. I do not want to be closed off and distant. I want to love them and serve them for my Lord's sake. Even when they are difficult. I do not want my selfishness to become infatuated with offenses. And so I will have to be more cautious knowing my own shortcomings. I will try to be open enough to serve them. I want to want to give myself up. Whatever you do, do not leave a church for no church. Sheep do not do well on their own.
In my experience, it's still the same way today. At least it was a couple of years ago at my RCC Parish. Very, very easy to just go in and back out anonymously.