Hi so I'm a father to two girls with my ex wife and we're divorced. My girls at 9 & 12, 12 Year old has zero interest in Christianity but the 9 Year old has it in abundance. I'm Anglican and would love her to be baptised but her mother is against it which is really hard. Just to confuse the matter further, since my divorce 8 years ago I've moved on with a new partner and we're expecting a son in April. My partner, as with my ex wife isn't a Christian but supports and respects me and agrees to the babies christening. My 9 year old wants her baptism with the babies christening which I feel would be lovely also!! What a day I'd be so happy. Such a difficult situation I'd love to hear your thoughts or feel free to share your own circumstances or stories.
It seems to me that your 9 year old knows her own mind and if that is what she feels led to do, she should be allowed to. Your ex wife therefore has no authority to prevent her from fulfilling her desire for baptism. Your 9 year old should have your support in the issue. By the way christening is a confusing term used by the uninitiated. Infants are 'Baptised'. Christening implies to some that 'christening' somehow only applies to infants and is therefore different than 'baptism'. There is only one baptism for the remission of sins. Nothing in the creed about 'christening'. The fact that your new partner approves of both your intentions and your 9 year old's desires is evidence enough that you should allow it to take place. Your ex wife would probably disapprove of you anyway but I rather doubt that she will foolishly treat her 9 year old daughter as a pariah just because she chose to be baptised simultaneously with her step brother.
What a wonderful response thankyou very much. And the point on christening is useful also, baptism it is
Since her mother opposes the baptism, her mother need not attend the event if she so wishes. Beyond that, she should not be allowed to prevent her daughter from doing something so important to her, and so harmless. I assume she opposes it because she is not a Christian. It's strange... a non-Christian will sometimes want to force his or her offspring to also be non-Christian; but if the person thinks that Christianity is nothing more than a fairy tale, why should he or she be so set against the child believing it? Your ex probably does not believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, but she probably lets (even encourages) her kids to believe in such make-believe characters. If her daughter wishes to believe in Jesus (and act accordingly), why should it be any skin off her nose? I know how you feel. My daughter's two kids are as unlike as your 12 and 9 year old are. My granddaughter is 2 years older than her brother; she is interested in God and church, but little brother says what he's heard from his father: "Jesus isn't real." (Their father had the nerve to forbid my daughter from taking the kids to church! Well, tough luck mister, mom and the kids are now going to church regularly anyway!)
Sorry to hear your situation also with the father trying to stop church attendance. It's entirely true as you say...I think the resistance from the ex wife is often simply due to her having an opportunity to try and stop something I value. It's a consistent pattern I'm afraid, I fear her bitterness towards me fuels her desire to stop my daughter being baptised. Very depressing but I pray god will work in the situation and find some comfort in the knowledge god sees my daughters heart and motivation.